The Luxury of Being Yourself

Sometimes, it all starts with something as ordinary as picking up your phone.

You woke up, looked in the mirror, and felt confident in yourself. You open social media and, after a few minutes of scrolling, you begin to feel, directly or indirectly, the pressure to change something about yourself: how you dress, how you look, even how you think. As if fitting in meant following certain rules that are constantly changing. And suddenly, what you liked about yourself five minutes ago starts to feel like it is not enough.

You put down your phone, and you are left with an indescribable feeling in your stomach, a dissatisfaction that was not there before. You start wondering if you are falling behind, if perhaps you are doing something wrong, if you should be doing more or less, if you are too much or not enough. One question leads to another, and suddenly you find yourself questioning things that had never even crossed your mind.

I am a curious person. I love discovering new things and sharing what I like. There is something beautiful about finding inspiration in other people. Even many of the great figures we admire continually find inspiration in someone else, in art, or in the beauty around us: films, literature, and so much of what we see and consume. That is also what media is for: bringing us closer to those sources of inspiration.

But sometimes there is a very fine line between finding inspiration and entertainment in what we consume and beginning to compare ourselves to it. At what point does something we enjoy start making us feel less than? Little by little, we can go from discovering what we like to questioning whether the way we look, think, or live is enough. And without realizing it, we can begin to measure our own worth and contentment against someone’s highly curated and edited “reality” on a screen.

I also wonder what happens when we feel we constantly have to keep up with trends and everything we consume to feel part of something. And this goes beyond fashion: it can be a way of speaking, an item everyone wants at that moment, or an opinion everyone seems to share. As if sharing the same tastes, looking alike, speaking alike, and even thinking alike gave us that sense of belonging to a group. But what happens when that belonging comes with the pressure to keep being like everyone else? As if, the moment you choose something different, there were no longer room for you in that very same group.

Perhaps you buy the item of the moment because you love it, but two weeks later, it already seems to be old news. And although you may still like it, it no longer gives you the same feeling or the same dopamine hit. Before long, as the wave moves toward the next must-have product, you begin to wonder whether you should still be using it.

It seems like everyone is one step ahead. They already know the next trend, have the “hot” item of the moment, and have found the aesthetic we now want to try. And every time we try to keep up, something newer, more sophisticated, or more viral comes along. We have barely had time to enjoy something before it feels like we need to replace it.

Then comes that need to “rebrand,” to find an aesthetic that defines us, even though a few weeks later we may want another one. We try something convinced we are going to love it, and when we finally have it, we think: “Hmm, maybe this wasn’t as good as everyone said. Or is it me?”

And that last question catches my attention. How quickly we can doubt our own taste when something everyone else seems to love does not make us feel the same way.

Among so many ways of dressing, speaking, thinking, and being, it can sometimes be hard to hear what comes naturally to us. We can spend so much time discovering what other people like that we leave little room to discover what we like ourselves.

Do I really like that giant plush toy hanging from a handbag, or do I like the feeling of not missing out on the trend?

And maybe I do love the plush toy. But I want to be able to ask myself the question and answer honestly. To know when I like something because it feels like me and when I am choosing it because I feel that, if I do not have it, I am missing out on something.

I think getting to know ourselves deeply has something to do with that, too. Paying attention to our choices, even the smallest ones. Giving ourselves permission to try something and say, “This isn’t for me,” even if everyone else loves it. Or continuing to enjoy something long after it has gone out of style.

There is an enormous sense of freedom in being able to appreciate what someone else has or how they look without feeling that you need the same thing to be just as interesting or special. Little by little, comparison stops being behind every choice.

In a world where so much of what we see is only a click away, I wonder if part of what makes something feel luxurious is how difficult it is to find.

And more and more, I find myself drawn to someone who feels comfortable being themselves. Someone with their own tastes and opinions, who does not feel the constant pressure or need to be part of whatever everyone is talking about at the moment. Someone who surprises you because there is something of themselves in what they choose and what they share.

Being yourself is within your reach, but with so many influences and opinions around us, it sometimes takes more attention than we imagine. Getting to know yourself, trusting your judgment, and allowing that to be reflected in your life.

Perhaps that is why, more and more, I think that truly being yourself is the greatest luxury within our reach, yet one we do not always allow ourselves to enjoy.

Con amor, xx
Sharon